Friday, January 29, 2010

Being Eleven



running
over fences, under bridges, down hills, up stairs
racing with my 7 year old brother
and winning.

writing
in my special diary
hoping no one reads it
articulating my fears
and secret crushes
paper is my best friend.

wishing
i was a boy
they don't have to wear frilly frocks
or itchy, pepto-bismol-colored leggings
no one tells them to sit
with their legs closed
my period will end when i'm...forty?!!!
i'm doomed
it just isn't fair.

dreaming
of being pretty
why am i so darn skinny?
i'd rather be fat
hair-dislike
glasses-dislike
nose-dislike
i want to be normal.

choosing
what i want to be when i grow up
an astronaut, a scientist, a doctor, a dancer
something new each decade
i love science
but it doesn't show on the marksheet
failing every test isn't a good sign.

fighting
with my mother, father, brother
sometimes i hate them all
most of the times i don't
papa's got to be an alien
how else is he so mean?
they say i have a bad temper
they're probably right
oh well.

living
on a mental roller coaster
frustrated with my emotions
pleased with my height
a life saturated with changes
and slow acceptance.

waiting
until the joyous day
when i'll be respected
adultish
cool
at the ripe, grown-up age
of thirteen.

4 comments:

  1. heh first timer here... this is really so true!!! i still wish i would have been better off being a boy

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  2. this entry gave me a glimpse of lil pragya... and it is absolutely quite accurately of how I'd picture you :D love you and miss you so much! luv, av

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  3. Pragya, your writing style is beautiful! this made me feel like I was 11 again :)

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